2020: Holiday Letter

Happy Holidays!

If you’re a skimmer-1st-few- sentences- and- then- done kind of reader, here’s the TLDR (Tory just taught me that):

I had foot surgery, traveled a lot, and stayed healthy. Got a boyfriend (Logan,) and a little dog (Lula.) “Learned” a tik-tok dance, made a lot of tie dye, didn’t solve the dead bird mystery, saw Katie Walter 1x, Jamie Anderson 2x, and Grandma O, Julie and Norm & my Texas family 3x, drove 27,000+ miles, and launched Quest Alchemy.

Big Current News:

I am honored to have my new venture, Quest Alchemy, partner in co-creating Vision Quest 2030. We launch December 29, 2020. You are invited to participate! This is an opportunity to guide us all forward towards a transformed planet. We will continue towards 2030, expanding our community to a billion people dreaming together to co-create our world. Unifying. Free. Powerful. Simple. Everyone.

If you change your mailing address, please tell me. XOXO

2020 Year in Review

I’m excited to be posting this online this year (vs. snail mail) as it gives the opportunity to share stories, pictures, links, etc. This letter is divided into sections, to make it easy to read by chapters. Thank you Kara Flerchinger for asking me how I would decide the 1 photo for my card this year? She was right, it had a problem. So, I picked 17. A special mention about the main photo- in the background there’s a painting by Tory (my roommate) of the dogs, Diamond & Chloe. It felt right to include them. Thank you Tory! Folks, it is the best of the best to be quarantined with one of my best friends. Tory makes everything fun, funny, and funnier.

The End Of 2019

Thanksgiving was celebrated in Oregon, both in Portland and on the coast, in Depoe Bay. I spent it with Logan and both sides of my family- including 3 Grandmas. A whirlwind of yummy vegetarian food, walks on the beach, playing games, and visiting friends. The high-points were twinning with Grandma O, and meeting sweet baby Bennett Salvo. The low-point was accidently cutting my finger and getting 10 stitches. It was awful. The doctor had to tell me a made up fairytale to distract me, while he stitched my hand (which later he revealed he usually just does for children.)

In November, I went with a group of my favorite women (Kaetlyn, Rayehe, Teryl, Tory, Rosie, & Annalisa) to Salvation Mountain, and then deep into the desert for The Lights Fest. Along with thousands of people, we wrote our wishes on lanterns, and released them into the night sky. A theme between our group was having some especially rough patches that year, so we decided 2019 was over, and we transitioned into “Pre-2020” noting that “The joys of 2020 just can’t come soon enough.” Yeah, that makes us laugh now, too.

December was packed with fun. Trips to Santa Barbara, San Diego, Disneyland/Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge, and a nice touristy visit to Warner Bros. Studio in Los Angeles, to sit on the Friends sofa, ride a Nimbus 2000, admire the various Batmobiles, and most importantly…. A stroll through Stars Hollow. I was a star-struck mess as we walked through Lorelai and Rory’s house, sat on the gazebo steps, and looked in the windows of Luke’s Diner (for those of you still lost, this is the TV set for Gilmore Girls.)

Then, December 15 happened.

Tory and I were in the kitchen, and we heard this loud meow/moan sound coming from the living room. I peaked around the corner to see what was happening, and saw my sweet Fiona Apple cat hovered over something. I made Tory look. See for yourself…

We scurried back to the kitchen. I offer, “It looks like a dead bird or something!” Tory insists, “It’s just a bird ornament from the Christmas tree.” I respond, “But we don’t have a bird ornament.” Silence. Tory says again, “But, it’s just a bird ornament, it’s not a dead bird, it’s an ornament. Everything is fine. It’s all ok.”

Well, if you can’t tell where this is headed, spoiler alert: it was not all ok. Especially not for the once alive bird that was now dead, in the middle of the living room floor, with Fiona Apple howling over it (sounding remarkably like her namesake.) The next 30 minutes were a blur of screaming, laughing, desperate attempts calling various friends and our neighbor to come help (nobody was available,) ridiculous strategies to get the bird out of the house, begging, more screaming, and circling back to denial and the “ornament” theory. Eventually, with a broom, a box, shoes, a pizza box, screaming, and a prayer, we got the bird outside, much to Fiona’s chagrin.

After hours of debating scenarios of how this long-dead bird suddenly arrived in the middle of our living room floor, these are our conclusions:

#1 There is no way Fiona killed that bird. Fiona is bougie (she loves prosciutto) and has “special” hunting skills, with just the 1 eye and a goofy foot (bless her heart.) Nor was it Roma Tomato, she would never walk away from a trophy like that.

#2 One of the animals could have found it dead outside, and carried it in the house.

#3 Somehow it came down through the chimney, past the fire screen, into the living room (dead or alive.)

#4 The Christmas tree was it’s trojan horse. When, it finally fell to the floor amongst the presents, Fiona found it and carried it to the rug.

The only theory that seems possible is #4. We’re haunted by not solving the mystery of The Dead Bird/The Best Day of Fiona’s Life.

That I had a Murder Mystery party planned later that week, was apropos. 14 of us gathered, with costume and accents, to detect who murdered John Doe on the Orient Express. I was “Freida Ego” (the not-so-good psychiatrist.) Thank you Gerard, Radcliffe, Rosie, Shellee, Ron, Annalisa, Shane, Christine, Jason, Kaetlyn, Tory, Logan & Teryl for being so joyful and showing up, time and time again to play. We solved John Doe’s murder, yet took no ground on the bird mystery. Turns out John’s killer was my new boyfriend, Logan, AKA Indy Temple the archaeologist. Not the good omen a girl is looking for when dating a new guy.

Rob Bell Bookends

2019 ended much as it started, literally, with a fun day with Annalisa in Los Angeles & attending Rob Bell’s first and last, “Introduction to Joy” talks. We first explored a favorite museum, the Norton Simon, in Pasadena. Rodin, Botticelli, Van Gogh, Canaletto, Degas, Monet…There are few things better in my world than an afternoon of Renaissance art.

After the museum we had the best Mexican food, then on to Rob Bell’s event. I just can’t get enough of Rob’s perspective on life, spirituality, God and relationships. He teamed up with Elizabeth Gilbert for a “How to Imagine” workshop in October, which was also so good. SO GOOD!

The Guy.

I met Logan on August 18, 2019, but our story starts way back on April 12, 2017 at The Temple of Heaven, Beijing China.

While strolling around the gardens at The Temple of Heaven, my tour guide, Dongmei, pointed out a group of people mingling, while holding signs up. She explained they were all parents, matchmaking their children for marriage. The signs typically displayed their (adult) child’s photo, and basic stats like: employment status, if they had a car, owned an apartment, salary, and if they still lived with their mom.

That afternoon, I traveled with Dongmei to her family’s home for dinner. While eating dinner with Dongmei and her mom, I was quizzed about why I’m not married (a normal conversation for us 30+ single adults.) Her mom couldn’t make sense of it (which is much better than a response that confirms I deserve singleness,) and generously offered to put a photo of my face on a sign and take it on down to the park for a good mingle. She assured me that a confident, blonde, American girl should be no problem to marry off.

I instantly declined and shook my head no. Then, paused and changed my answer to, “well, not yet.” And THEN found myself saying, “I really would need a guy with a car, a job…. and I definitely can’t live with his mom.” And then another long pause, and changed my final answer to, “Well, he just can’t be living with his mom.” I figured, there’s no need to be picky and burn this “plan b” bridge.

A couple weeks after that conversation, I arrived home in the USA and shared the details of the trip with my Dad (I swear this whole story is actually about meeting Logan.) I tell Dad about The Temple of Heaven, the park, and all the committed parents that actually love their children. I question and confront him, “So, what the hell? What are you doing? Why aren’t you down at the park with my face on a sign? No wonder I’m single. Do something!” He countered, “Even if I did arrange your marriage, there is no way you would go along with it.” He had a point.

After slight consideration, I proposed, “If you, Mom, and Heather (step-mom) all agree on the same man, I’m in. I’ll do it. You can arrange my marriage.” So we made a deal. Keep in mind, it’s slim odds those 3 very different people agree on ONE guy, and if they get it wrong, they have to live with unhappy me- forever.  The conversation with dad ended, and I basically forgot about it.  Dad, however, did not.

I started hearing reports on his search; guy possibilities, people that may have suggestions, and conversations Dad was having with his friends about his new “part time job, husband hunting.” I decided this is all fun and games and fairly harmless… until about a year later on August 1, 2018.

Dad calls and announces, “Heather and I have casted our vote! And, we know for sure he is single. I told him I have a daughter that’s single too, and that he should date you. I gave him your info.” Apparently, in Portland, Oregon on July 13, 2018, a guy named Logan Adams participated in Foundations (the personal development training Dad leads.) Which was followed by a game night, on July 28, 2018 at the Burke’s home in Tacoma, WA. Dad, Heather, and Logan all attended (and Logan won.) Dad and Heater quizzed Logan, and concluded their vote was cast. (I wonder how much Logan winning the game night influenced dad’s approval.)

I truly had not anticipated dad actually going around, talking to dudes, handing out my number and trying to convince guys to date me. Keep in mind, this is over a year after our initial conversation post China. I looked “this Logan guy” up on Facebook; he had a job, a car, didn’t seem to live with his parents, AND was super cute. Alright Tricky Ricky (dad) you may be onto something here. I was interested….but nothing happened. I never heard from him. And I forgot about him.

Until August 18, 2019, a whole year later. Logan was visiting Redlands for work, the same weekend I was staffing a Foundations Training, which included an alumni event. A mutual friend, Cheryl, was also hoping to hook the two of us up. On the sly, she asked me to email “this Logan guy” details for the alumni event. The name rang a bell for me, and I remembered Dad tried to set us up. I let her know I’d be happy to, but I’d actually need a phone number for him too 😉 Sly vs. Sly.

I texted him. Introduced myself (jogged his memory…) and gave him the info for the event (and my number if he wanted to call me.)

Come event day, I was curious if he’d show, and also very busy working. While running around the lobby, working with staff, herding participants, and welcoming Alumni….Logan walked through the front door. Heather yelled out for everyone to hear, “Lyndsay, there’s your husband!” I was totally taken off guard. I stood still and looked towards the door. I felt flush, awkward, and I remember thinking “I don’t know what to do with my hands!”

We meet. I hug him (and he became the awkward flush one.) Later on, I enter the alumni event and see one empty seat right next to him, so we get to sit by each other.  We chit chat, I learn his birthday and favorite color. He learns I’m bossy and like enrolling people. At one point, the whole room stands up and gets out of their seats for an activity. On return, my seat was somehow taken by Teryl!

At first I just sat somewhere else, but the panic of losing the opportunity was growing and I decided to do something about it. The next time everyone moved for an activity, I low-key added another chair in Logan’s row, and moved everyone’s things down a chair, shifting the whole row silently to casually jump back in and sit by him again. Later that evening, while chatting with my parents and I, He asked me to dinner sometime that week (no date, no time, no specific place established.) I say yes. He gave me “finger guns,” and walked away. I wonder if I’ve made a mistake. Finger guns?

4 days later Logan, along with his little dog Chewy, came over for dinner and we talked for hours. It was especially meaningful that earlier that day, I collected both Diamond and Chloe’s ashes, and brought them home. As the chapter with my two girls ended, a new one began with these two boys. Logan changed plans to stay another day. Then another day. Then re-arranged his month to meet me at my Mom’s house the next weekend on the Oregon Coast.

He spent 4 days at my Mom’s house; with me, my cousin Drew and his wife Lorraine, their daughter Natalie, and our Grandma. The following month Logan came to California to attend my dog’s funeral service. I was very impressed. The following day, at an Angels vs. Astros baseball game, we were featured on the kiss cam.

And here we are now, Facebook Official and everything.

So This is the New Year

We brought in the New Year in Downtown Redlands. Logan’s Best Friend, Isaac, was in town so we met and caught up. Isaac asked if I was coming to Tahoe for Jeremy’s 30th birthday party? I had no idea what he was talking about, including who Jeremy was. Turns out, all of Logan’s best friend’s were gathering in a couple weeks to celebrate. And if I was taking the relationship seriously, I would be there.

January 1, I woke up around the time I usually go to sleep. Drove to Pasadena, and spent the morning at my first Rose Parade. I chose my word for the year to be “Leap,” perfect word for Leap Year. The parade was beautiful. I appreciated all the walking, standing and activity as the following day I had foot surgery (and no, I am going to walk through all of 2020 one day at a time.) The surgery went smoothly, and Logan was a phenomenal help, especially with cooking meal after meal of Thai food. The animals pulled their weight too, constantly napping by my side. My heart was especially melted by the outpouring of flowers and food from my clients. My clients! I was blown away with gratitude.

During this healing time, we joined my dear friends, Hans and Mary Ann Schaepper for dinner at their home. I enjoyed our quality time, and introducing them to Logan. They asked him questions about his life, and evoked that Logan’s Mom had died when he was 7. He was unable to answer several questions about his youth, and explained he couldn’t remember, but would someday visit and ask his Aunt Julie in Tennessee (his mom’s sister.) The Schaepper’s beamed with joy, and emphasized how important it is for Logan to do. We totally agreed, looked at the calendar, but couldn’t see how to make it happen. So it was added to the “someday” bucket list.

9 days post surgery, with my foot securely bandaged and in an awkward boot, I found myself alone at the airport and attempting to get Chewy Dog, a purse of medication, and my luggage on the flight to Tahoe. The weekend turned out to super fun and a hot mess. Who could’ve known that a bad foot and icy streets don’t match? Plus, we had disastrous travel luck. Three canceled flights, lost luggage, a last minute Airbnb, missed work, and a surprise extra night needed in downtown Reno. It was all worth it. I had a great time meeting Logan’s best friends, visiting my friend Rene at his new chalet, and exploring Lake Tahoe for the first time.

All in all, we decided it was The Travel Adventure of the Year.

Transformation, Travel, and Togetherness

The best part of 2020 started in January when Logan enrolled in the Intro to Discovery Course with Elevate Leadership Community/WorldWorks. I love Transformation and Personal Development, and have been a student and Coach for many years. Thank you Julia Stokes, Lynne Sheridan, and Lisa Kalmin for being committed to him and his growth.

In February, while I was visiting Logan at his home in College Place, Washington (he works for Walla Walla University,) he received the news that his Grandfather’s funeral would be the following week on the East Coast, in both South and North Carolina. We were gifted standby tickets, and spent hours mixing and matching flights, times, and availability, to fit the itinerary needed.

The trip was intense. 7,139 miles flown. 1,255 miles driven. 8 States. 5 nights (all in different cities.) Met 30+ members of Logan’s family. Attended 2 honoring services for his Grandfather. And 1 huge surprise of practically running into Jamie Anderson in Nashville. (I was also surprised I agreed to visit the Country Music Hall of fame. I mean, is country even real music?) I was happy to go with him, and he was happy to drive an extra couple hours to dip over the West Virginia state line so I could check it off my “states visited” list, leaving just Alaska and Hawaii. If you didn’t catch it in the foreshadowing, this surprise trip took us right to Logan’s Aunt Julie and Uncle Norm’s home.

It was a treat to be together and shower them with questions, only to receive even more answers, stories, pictures, and details than Logan could ever imagine. His cousin Norman and wife Angela, along with their 5 kids, also made a visit. Before this trip, I hadn’t met Logan’s family. Never in my wildest imagination did I think I would first meet 20+ of them for the first time, at a wake, just a few feet away from his Grandpa’s open casket. Quirky as it was, everyone was welcoming, kind, and generous.

All in all, the trip was wonderful, meaningful, and exhausting. Ok, so THIS was The Travel Adventure of the Year.

The First Visit to Houston

For a while, life moved at it’s normal rhythm. Work, yoga, church, coaching, animals. Regular Marco Polos with Nydia in Hong Kong. My nephew Asher and niece Daisy, came for our weekly playdates. Mornings of girl talk by the fire in the backyard with Teryl and Annalisa. Katherine and John Sellery dropped in for a lovely visit. Life was nice and steady.

I met up with my Grandma O in Houston, Texas and we spent time with Aunt Toni, Uncle Larry, 8 cousins and their families. We were roommates and had plenty of time to talk and sip coffee on the porch. Abby sweet talked her way into a new kitten, named Summer Meatball. Based on that name, she’s obviously related to my cats. It was a treat to meet the 4 new kiddos Indy, Aria, Emerson ,& Grayson. I’m looking forward to my next trip to meet baby River Jade.

My favorite moments from Houston are: #1 Hearing Grandma tell the story of meeting, dating, and marrying Grandpa. #2 Rows of multi-color friendship bracelets, piles of stickers and scrunchies for my aggressive VSCO girl training with Abby and Michelle. #3 Partnering with Rachel for an all family game and answering every question with “butts-n-stuff.” We laughed hysterically, and we were the only ones. #4 On my last night, we stayed up late for quality girl talk and made our first family Tik Tok:

The Rona’

Logan flew down for my birthday (March 21) and basically stayed through the summer. I had a brilliant zoom birthday, and shared the day with Logan, Tory, Gina and Mike (he is my birthday buddy.) The early days of The Rona’ were filled with activity, as we did our best to prepare and stay calm. The kitchen chalkboard was edited to say “Quarantine and Chill #LipLockDown” and daily we added a new tally mark to the total number of days we were home (we stopped doing this somewhere around day 40.) Tory painted fun Coronavirus paintings. The cats started eating out of martini glasses. Banana bread was baking every few days. We were doing everything right.

We bought toilet paper (which we actually needed, and felt compelled to explain we were not panicking.) Tory, Logan and I decided to be proper adults and go by extra food- just in case. On the drive to the grocery store, we discussed what to buy that was practical, needed, yummy, and non-perishable. Assuming we were all on the same page, we split up to get necessities. I filled the cart with cans, bags and boxes of food. Planning and plotting the best decisions and meals. When finished, we rendezvoused by the cashier. Me with my cart of responsible choices, Tory with the Hot Cheetos, and Logan with the bulk bag of sour gummy worms. I began to doubt my picks for team-apocalypse.

Overall for me to be home, isolated, and keep myself entertained is no big deal. As an only child, I’ve been preparing my whole life for this. That being said, our house realized that we didn’t budget our shelter-in-place activities well, and burned through our best entertainment in the first few days.

I got a new robe, and we deemed everyday “robe day.” Enjoyed the backyard hammock and fireplace. We blew through the entirety of Tiger King, followed by creating (crappy) fan art, played tons of Hanabi, did the 1 puzzle in the house, and turned everything white into some tie-dye creation. We even “learned” a Tik Tok dance. Folks, it wasn’t pretty having 3, 30 something- very white- no rhythm- people, spend a couple hours stumbling their way through an incredibly slow, slow-motion Tik Tok dance tutorial of “Renegade.” Only to find that when playing the song at regular speed, we had hopelessly inadequate dance skills to keep up. After 1 try in real time, we stopped.

As Tory taught her 8th grade science classes from the kitchen, it became a daily reminder of how much I didn’t retain from grade school. I (still) frequently ask questions on her breaks- Why don’t all the planets have moons? How exactly do rainbows happen? How big is the sun? I also found myself constantly bringing up in conversation how thrilled I am with my health insurance. This must be a sign of ageing. Logan made a chalk game on the sidewalk out front, that the neighborhood kids LOVED. We attempted starting the day with green drinks. And the animals became our collective main source of entertainment. Our house has agreed, we all need to become more interesting people for this quarantine to be sustainable.

Covid-19 stretched from days, to weeks to months. As we all know, everything changed. My pink post-it note of international travel dates and plans is still on the fridge, a reminder of unfulfilled intentions for 2020. I did accomplish tasks I thought I’d never get to: decluttered my house and storage with the help of Annalisa, paid off my debt, and found an app that translates cat meows to words and makes animals talk (this is adorable.)

Robyn Evans, Gold, & Diamonds

All the changes lead me to get creative and shake up my coaching business. After tons of effort, I kinda sorta even learned to do stuff to my website. I am about as proud of this, as I am for earning my college degree. I created several coaching groups and new ways to serve people in Creating Gold: New Year Leap, The Lonely Hearts Club, GD Cheetahs, Dream Team, Personality Assessment and Education, and Spiritual is Sexy. I’m looking forward to hosting them again soon (if you want to participate, let me know!)

I accepted interview invitations for Diane Halfman’s Podcast “Spa Life. ” Episode titled Standing For Your Future Self, and Gerard Cole’s, “Turning Cole Into Diamonds.” Episode titled Limoncello, Dealing with Other’s Expectations, & The Rona’ Special. (Click to hear my episodes.) And yes, offered that Rona Special coaching deal.

Which I’ll offer again to celebrate Coaching Life Alchemy’s 4th Anniversary: $200 off your choice of coach, and coaching package. Click here, choose, and use the coupon code: holidaygold

The most important thing I discovered is that Robyn Evans is the best agent, and public relations girl, I could ever ask for. Thank you for referring me to everyone you know, Robyn!

Yet, my favorite venture happened over the summer. I teamed up with two of my best friends, to create a Facebook show, “Coaching, Cocktails, and Comedy.” Each of us has a business doing what we love most. Rosie Ruiz owns Stayin’ Gold Cocktails and is a genius at creating craft cocktails and catering events in Los Angeles. Gerard Cole hosts his podcast, TCID, and is a fabulously funny comedian in Hollywood. Our intention: to blend drinks, laughter and personal growth together for a good time. And boy, was it!

Well, it was really fun, and then it became important. George Floyd was killed. We dropped the alcohol, set aside the comedy, paused coaching, and focused on racism, the growing division, and what life is like as a minority in the USA. And everything felt like it changed, again.

Lula in the Skye With Diamonds

Towards the end of July, I finally completed my last requirement to being a full Californian. I have blonde hair, am currently driving my third Prius, I need a coat if the temperature drops below 70 degrees, and now I have my own little dog that goes with me everywhere, Lula. I even went for bonus points and got a little dog that appears to be twins of my boyfriend’s little dog.

I first spotted her online. An 8 year old, Sheltie/Pomeranian mutt. She looked like a fox. The shelter hosting her selected a handful of people to meet her, and I was one of them. I instantly drove down from Sacramento to Los Angeles, (and back) to make the appointment. We met, she jumped in my lap, kissed my face, and I loved her. I had a long wait, and in the end I got the call. She picked me for her new home.

Her name was “Mia” which I shifted to “Mia Hammburger.” (That still makes me laugh.) Later she told me she wanted a new name, for her new life. Now, Lula in the Skye with Diamonds, is her perfect name. You always need a name bigger than the actual dog. Lula is confident, brave, grounded, sassy and kind. She is cool with kids, cats, and just about everything. Even Roma Tomato and Fiona Apple like Lula. She loves puppuccinos from Starbucks. That girl ONLY does what she wants to do. Imagine Beyonce transformed into a 13lb puffy haired dog, that is Lulu. I want to write a kids book about “Ooh La Lula” and her confidence. She loves me, and has no interest in pleasing me. I am more like her sugar momma, or roommate, than her owner.

My dad reminds her she is the luckiest dog in the world to live the luxury dog life with me, and that he hopes to come back as one of my animals, in his next life. It wasn’t until I saw Lula stand next to Logan’s dog Chewy, that I realized they were practically identical. I had no idea. So now we are that seemingly sappy couple that has matching tiny dogs. Silliness aside, it has been heartwarming to have 2 matching dogs and 4 total animals in my home again.

May – November: Road Trips. Cautious. Masked. Drenched in Purell.

2 weeks between Sacramento, Depoe Bay, and Portland for Logan’s birthday. Fun to celebrate (distantly) with Logan’s best boyfriends, his family, and his bonus families- The Brizendines and The Gouveias. We have visited Jeremy and JJ in Sacramento so many times, we left a framed photo of ourselves on the bedside table in our room (they call it the guest room.) Lula still doesn’t know which place is actually her home.
1 week at South Lake Tahoe.
1 week on the Oregon Coast with Mom, Randy and Grandma E.

9 weeks of circles between Redlands, Sacramento, Eureka, Redwood National Forest, Crater Lake National Park, Camp Sherman/Bend, Walla Walla, Seattle, Mukilteo- where I fell in love with Kat’s kids Ethan, Aiden and Amelia. (Kat has been my best friend since we were roommates at school in France in 2002.) Whidbey Island, San Juan Island, and then back down to Houston for cousin Rebecca’s beautiful wedding to Braedy. This time visited with Sierra, Aunt Terri and Uncle Ron too.
8 weeks around America. 15,000+ miles. 39 states. 2 People. 1 Dog, sometimes a statue, all in our car-partment.